We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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