Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
