you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
