THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize