forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
