you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
