u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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