u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
