Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
