Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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