He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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