It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
