y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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