I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize