i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
