I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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