I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
