I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
