I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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