True but thats because hes a fetus.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
