Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
