The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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