Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
