haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
