i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
