Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
