Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
