You're completely useless in the revolution.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
