Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
