You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
