i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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