I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
