they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
