in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My ass is underappreciated
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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