why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
