toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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