I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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