I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
