I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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