She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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