non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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