Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
