I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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