Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
