Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
