she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize