It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
