Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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