how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
