Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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