I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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