He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
