yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
