The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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