This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
