If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
