We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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