I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
