i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
