you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
