remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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