i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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